Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Thinking of Love Ones
Sitting here remembering the Christmas Eves and Christmases we use to have when I was a kid. Back before my father passed so many years ago. It's hard to believe but coming this April my dad will be going 17 yrs. For most of my young life my dad was not the best father a lot of the time. He was rough and abusive on all us kids but our one brother. But there were moments he was the complete opposite and that side of him was an amazing. He never said he loved me in this life. But he did say a yr. and a half before his death that he knew he had failed me as a father. The fact that he started to realize this before he died I know was a precious gift. I remember being angry when he past and confused. Part of me was glad he as gone and could no longer hurt anyone especially my mom. But another part of me when I left it in came to miss him. I miss him tonight. Matter what anyone says about my dad and their are loads of bad things they can say about him that are true. But matter what they say I now know more than ever my dad was the rock that held our family together. For today I very rarely see my brothers. Only if in passing. Mostly if the few who still talk to my mom show up at my mom's house at the same time. I still can't believe after the loses he has had himself that my one brother still will not talk to our mother or most of the rest of us.(He only bothers with one of our brothers) I miss my brothers and my dad. Life is a precious gift that can be taken away at anytime. When our mother is going it will be to late for I'm sorrys or to spend time with her. Anyone of us could be going tomorrow actually. No me and mom don't always agree. Mater a fact most the time we don't agree. She is great at getting under my skin. But we only have one mother. I love her with her good and her bad. I'm disappointed in my brothers and have no idea how they really feel about me at this point. Well, since they refuse for us to socialize or talk as a family. But I know they have not learned some of the lessons I have in life. So matter what I will always love them. Even the ones who abused or hurt me in the past. I forgave such things a long time ago. Life is to short to hold grudges. So mater if they love me or not I will always love them. Personally I think is it time we take that closet with so many skeletons in it and just blow it up. It is time to move on and let go of the crap from our childhoods and our past. Time we all stop judging each other. We all have something we did in our past that we shouldn't have. We all won't agree on everything. We don't have to. Trust me as a mother of 5 myself I have learned there is no way a family so big is going to agree all the time.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
My Love Story
Story of how me and my hubby became to be a couple.
It was a few days before June 15th 1990 I remember. I was laying out in my back yard before I had to go to work. My dad yells for me. Tells me my mom is calling from work. I get to the phone first thing she asks me is how I feel about going out with a friend of her's son? I asked a few questions like what's his name, and how old is he? She tells me a little about him. I say yes.
Now comes the night of our first date. My mom is thinking, I later learn they will be good friends in the end nothing more. He pulls up in front of our house driving a loud black Camero. Me thinking "What the hell did my mom sit me up with". Well, he knocks on the door I answer and bring him inside to meet my dad. He already knew my mom. He goes to shake my dad's hand when my wonderful brother Jeff steps in between them. Jeff shakes Kevin's hand but while doing so he says these exact word's to Kevin, " I am Sandy's big brother Jeff, You fuck with her I'll fuck with you. Jeff left for Germany right after that practically.
Our first date Kevin was like no guy I had ever met. He was almost 4 yrs. older than me. He was amazing. Very respectful and never tried to over step any bounds. We talked for hours. When the date was over and he dropped me off my mom was waiting at the door hoping we hit it off as friends but nothing more. Was she in for a shock. When she asked me how did it go I told her I think I found my future husband.
The very next night we had out second date. I then knew I was in-love. By the end of the second date we were inseparable. I went home and told my mom he was the one I was going to marry. She thought young love. It would pass. She hoped.
For the first month of dating if I wasn't working we were together or talking on the phone. after 1 month of dating he popped the question(Will you marry me?) I said yes. Neither of our mothers were happy about the engagement. Said we were to young and rushing things. I said I was in-love and knew what I wanted. He said the same. I promised them I would graduated High School first before we actually got married.
So for the next 2 yrs. basically we dated and had a long engagement. We had up and downs. Close breakups. Breakups that lasted a day then we would get back together. In June 1992 I graduated High School. The following Monday I started a new job. That follow weekend we broke up. Never really figured out why fully.
But later on the break up and time apart would prove to be the best thing for our relationship. You know absence makes the heart grow fonder sort of thing. First 3 weeks. I worked, didn't eat, and cried myself to sleep every night. Then I started dating around and hanging with friends too. I started doing my best to move on. I knew there was a part of me that would always love him. But knew I had to move on.
Then it happened September I had a rare night I had nothing to do. The phone rings. My mom answers. Then gives me the phone. It's Kevin. He was wondering if we could be friends. He asks me to meet him somewhere. I decide yes.
We meet and talk. I find out more about why he walked out on me or at least some of it. See his mom never liked me. My mom never thought he was good enough to marry me. Neither did my brothers. All this built up and he thought maybe it was impossible for us to make it work.
As we sat in the car we worked it all out. We both realized we were very much in-love. A week later we were engaged again.
We had to tell our parents. His mom at first said I was not allowed in her home. But that lasted like a week. My mom was not happy at all. My dad after us being back together a little over a month gave me money right in front of my mom. Said go make your wedding plans. Gave Kevin his full blessings. My dad told my mom to butt out of our relationship. That we would be celebrating our 50th Wedding Anniversary someday. My DAD! He had never been there for me through anything. None of my parents really had. My dad said,"that we are in-love and the real thing. It all shocked me. Two weeks later we got married in a small church in Maryland.
My mom still gave it a year at the most. His mom on our wedding day said she now knew we loved each other. That we were willing to risk losing our families to be together. And we were.
As for our marriage we have had our ups and downs. All marriages do have their problems. We also have had a close call with my life too. Which made us even stronger. We have had a lot of things we have been through together that either make or break a relationship. They have made ours stronger.
So here we are almost 23 1/2 yrs. since the day we met. 5 living children and 6 angels in heaven later and more in-love then ever. I tell people our secretes are communication, never letting anyone not even our children come in between our relationship, and being each others best friends. My hubby isn't real good with showing his emotions but yet we still find away to make it work. We are just the right fit. My weakness tend to be his strengths and the his weaknesses tend to be my strengths for one. On things we come out equal on or disagree on we meet in the middle and work things out. We walk away when mad and calm down. We made a rule that we only once ever broke too when we got married. We will never go to bed angry at one another. We do not sleep until it is worked out or at least we agree to disagree and work on working it out. We never go to bed mad at one another. Now days that is saying a lot too. He works 3rd shift. So we sleep most days at separate times.
I will never tell anyone and then it was happy ever after. Fairy Tales only exist in story books and movies. This is real life. In real life marriage and relationships of all sorts take work if they are going to survive and stand the test of time.
It was a few days before June 15th 1990 I remember. I was laying out in my back yard before I had to go to work. My dad yells for me. Tells me my mom is calling from work. I get to the phone first thing she asks me is how I feel about going out with a friend of her's son? I asked a few questions like what's his name, and how old is he? She tells me a little about him. I say yes.
Now comes the night of our first date. My mom is thinking, I later learn they will be good friends in the end nothing more. He pulls up in front of our house driving a loud black Camero. Me thinking "What the hell did my mom sit me up with". Well, he knocks on the door I answer and bring him inside to meet my dad. He already knew my mom. He goes to shake my dad's hand when my wonderful brother Jeff steps in between them. Jeff shakes Kevin's hand but while doing so he says these exact word's to Kevin, " I am Sandy's big brother Jeff, You fuck with her I'll fuck with you. Jeff left for Germany right after that practically.
Our first date Kevin was like no guy I had ever met. He was almost 4 yrs. older than me. He was amazing. Very respectful and never tried to over step any bounds. We talked for hours. When the date was over and he dropped me off my mom was waiting at the door hoping we hit it off as friends but nothing more. Was she in for a shock. When she asked me how did it go I told her I think I found my future husband.
The very next night we had out second date. I then knew I was in-love. By the end of the second date we were inseparable. I went home and told my mom he was the one I was going to marry. She thought young love. It would pass. She hoped.
For the first month of dating if I wasn't working we were together or talking on the phone. after 1 month of dating he popped the question(Will you marry me?) I said yes. Neither of our mothers were happy about the engagement. Said we were to young and rushing things. I said I was in-love and knew what I wanted. He said the same. I promised them I would graduated High School first before we actually got married.
So for the next 2 yrs. basically we dated and had a long engagement. We had up and downs. Close breakups. Breakups that lasted a day then we would get back together. In June 1992 I graduated High School. The following Monday I started a new job. That follow weekend we broke up. Never really figured out why fully.
But later on the break up and time apart would prove to be the best thing for our relationship. You know absence makes the heart grow fonder sort of thing. First 3 weeks. I worked, didn't eat, and cried myself to sleep every night. Then I started dating around and hanging with friends too. I started doing my best to move on. I knew there was a part of me that would always love him. But knew I had to move on.
Then it happened September I had a rare night I had nothing to do. The phone rings. My mom answers. Then gives me the phone. It's Kevin. He was wondering if we could be friends. He asks me to meet him somewhere. I decide yes.
We meet and talk. I find out more about why he walked out on me or at least some of it. See his mom never liked me. My mom never thought he was good enough to marry me. Neither did my brothers. All this built up and he thought maybe it was impossible for us to make it work.
As we sat in the car we worked it all out. We both realized we were very much in-love. A week later we were engaged again.
We had to tell our parents. His mom at first said I was not allowed in her home. But that lasted like a week. My mom was not happy at all. My dad after us being back together a little over a month gave me money right in front of my mom. Said go make your wedding plans. Gave Kevin his full blessings. My dad told my mom to butt out of our relationship. That we would be celebrating our 50th Wedding Anniversary someday. My DAD! He had never been there for me through anything. None of my parents really had. My dad said,"that we are in-love and the real thing. It all shocked me. Two weeks later we got married in a small church in Maryland.
My mom still gave it a year at the most. His mom on our wedding day said she now knew we loved each other. That we were willing to risk losing our families to be together. And we were.
As for our marriage we have had our ups and downs. All marriages do have their problems. We also have had a close call with my life too. Which made us even stronger. We have had a lot of things we have been through together that either make or break a relationship. They have made ours stronger.
So here we are almost 23 1/2 yrs. since the day we met. 5 living children and 6 angels in heaven later and more in-love then ever. I tell people our secretes are communication, never letting anyone not even our children come in between our relationship, and being each others best friends. My hubby isn't real good with showing his emotions but yet we still find away to make it work. We are just the right fit. My weakness tend to be his strengths and the his weaknesses tend to be my strengths for one. On things we come out equal on or disagree on we meet in the middle and work things out. We walk away when mad and calm down. We made a rule that we only once ever broke too when we got married. We will never go to bed angry at one another. We do not sleep until it is worked out or at least we agree to disagree and work on working it out. We never go to bed mad at one another. Now days that is saying a lot too. He works 3rd shift. So we sleep most days at separate times.
I will never tell anyone and then it was happy ever after. Fairy Tales only exist in story books and movies. This is real life. In real life marriage and relationships of all sorts take work if they are going to survive and stand the test of time.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Black Friday Forgetting the true meaning of CHRISTmas
Such behavior makes me ashamed to call myself American I think at first then I read more and am like more like ashamed to be part of mankind:
http://www.itv.com/news/2013-11-29/black-friday-marred-by-violence-and-arrests/
http://nypost.com/2013/11/29/cop-shoots-shoplifter-near-chicago-amid-black-friday-chaos-others-hurt-around-country/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/29/black-friday-violence_n_4360899.html
http://www.examiner.com/article/black-friday-2013-black-eye-friday-as-violence-mars-annual-shopping-frenzy
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2013/11/29/black-friday-police-violence/3783467/
http://www.itv.com/news/2013-11-29/black-friday-marred-by-violence-and-arrests/
http://nypost.com/2013/11/29/cop-shoots-shoplifter-near-chicago-amid-black-friday-chaos-others-hurt-around-country/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/29/black-friday-violence_n_4360899.html
http://www.examiner.com/article/black-friday-2013-black-eye-friday-as-violence-mars-annual-shopping-frenzy
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2013/11/29/black-friday-police-violence/3783467/
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