My heart is breaking tonight. But first I will start from the beginning. Almost 21 yrs. ago. On Jan 2nd 1993 actually I learned that me and hubby were going to become parents for the first time. First we were excited. Then the fears came. Will I be a good mother. Will I be able to provide what she needs. Also there was the fear of childbirth. 2 months into the pregnancy I fell at work. Everything seemed fine. A few months later I got an ultrasound done. Doc told me everything looked fine. If only than I would of known how bad of a doctor he was. Her birthday came. It would in later years prove to be my shortest labor ever. 5 1/2 hrs.It would of been 5 but had to wait for the doctor to get there. From the moment she was born something just did not seem right. Her's and my doctor told me I was just having first time mom jitters. So did most the nurses. I kept questioning her breathing. It didn't seem right. She was breathing to heavy and to fast. Right before I left the hospital one nurse whispered to me, "Your right something is wrong". She said to keep a close eye on my daughter. I was very frightened but over time her breathing seem to straighten it self out. But still there was more wrong. She would scream and cry for hours on end. Doctor said colic of coarse. He kept on saying colic for over 2 yr. But when she was a yr. old our doctor dropped a bomb on me. Now looking back while I still had proof I should of sued. He informed me that my daughter was born with immature lungs. He knew this when she was born but kept it to himself. I was shocked and angry. I
 soon after found a new doctor. It took yrs. for someone to listen to me. I realized when she was about 2 yrs. old that she was having seizures. But no one would listen. I would hold her in my arms and she would cry for hours. She would hold her head and say it hurts. She would hold her tummy and say it hurts. Then sometimes she would vomit. No one but my mom, hubby, would listen. At 7 yrs. of age she had 2 grand mals(she rarely had those types at that age or up till that point ) She had them at school in front of a teacher. Finally they tested her. The test came back she has seizures but no tumors, no blood clots, nothing like that. through testing over the yrs. They saw that she started out having 24 seizures a day all from one side of the brain. They said they never will know for sure if it explains my daughter mental disorders. They tried one med after another. At one point we though Dilaton was helping. But we were wrong she was getting worse.  She was having 48 seizures just at night in her sleep and they had spred to the other side of her brain too. Docs were telling us she was going to die. That she would not make it to her 13th birthday. We prayed a lot. It wasn't easy keeping faith but it was all we felt we had. Through the yrs. it has been discovered Amber has 5 different types of seizures. At 14 they found a med that helped Depakote ER greatly lessoned them. In time she became seizure free for a few yrs. thanks to her meds. YES, she lived past 13 yrs. of age. She now had seizure again in the past yr. But not as much as she once did. She has a list of other medical problems too. Some do to her epilepsy. She has tremors from the yrs. of seizures messing up her nerve system. These tremors are so bad she randomly drops things quiet often. But she as of August 31, 2013 celebrated her 20th birthday. She has the mind of a 7/8 yr. old child. But in some ways because of what she has been through she has had to rely quiet a bit on faith and hope. She is very wise when it comes to faith. She says if this takes her from this world she will go be with God and he will make her well. That she will wait there and when we see her again she will not be sick.
   In Amber's life time she has had eye surgery on both eyes for lazy eyes, autism, intellectually challenged, anemia, gerds, when she was much younger an eating disorder, OCD, surgery to have her tonsils and adenoids removed, panic and anxiety attacks, almost lost her a few times along the way.
     Now today after a yr. almost of fighting one throat infection after another we have been informed she may have Cancer. We were warned a long time ago if she ever got it, chemo would most likely be impossible. It would make her seize like crazy. We are praying that it is something else. If it is cancer she will be in for a fight. From what we have been told their first option would be surgery.
  I sit here thinking she has to beat this. She will beat this. I can't imagine life without her. I know that if the worse does come about she will be with God, her other siblings (lost while pregnant), and my dad who was saved before he died and asked for forgiveness from us all. But I can't allow myself to think of life without her. Without seeing her or hearing her. I have to remain strong and keep the faith. Right now faith, hope and each other as a family is all we have.
  If your are readying this please pray for her and keep her in your thoughts. Please ask others to pray for her. Our family has seen/lived the power of prayer. So please help us plead to God as we put this in his hand. To do as he knows best. Thank you, and God Bless.