THE WORD "NO"

  Yes, I am writing about the word no today. Sometimes it can be the hardest word to say to someone. Other times it can be the hardest word to hear. Why did I decide to do this blog on this. Well honestly I was thinking about how many times I've had to work up the courage to say no in times when it felt like it might be the hardest thing in life for me to do. Also because I know  2 young ladies right now that seem to be having trouble saying that to someone else.
  In my life time I had to stand up to several abusers and say no. I was young and scared. But had no one else to do it for me. I for many yrs. could not do this. The first abuser was someone who took my innocents away against my will. I was but a baby I have learned when he first did it and too this day he feels no shame in what he did. It was not easy to stand up to him and say no. I was scared and confused. I didn't understand how a family member I loved could do this to me.At one time I was even led to believe it was the norm. But as I got older I learned it was not. I felt I could not tell my parents. I was on my own. So when he came to me that last time I as a little girl yelled no and ran. I never left him alone near me again.  A few yrs. later another young man started to do the same to me but I feared him. He would make threats and I did not know what to do. But in time I found the strength to say no. It was not easy I knew he might not except the no and it might of meant a battle. Fortunately my no came with the strength to stand up for myself and the warning, "hurt me again and you will never be able to hurt me another time after that". He was shocked and scared because I was no long that shy frightened little girl who was going to just take it. Than there was my dad. He put me through yrs. of abuse. Finally at the age of 20 when he last tried to hit me repeatedly one more time I said 'NO". I fought back and said no more. I told him how I felt and that I was a human being and did not deserve to be treated the way he was treating me. I said no more to abuse that day. I made a decision there and then that no one was ever going to abuse me ever again. That from here on out I would take a stand and say "NO".  For the first time in my life I was a survivor. No longer a victim.
  Through the yrs. I have learned to speak up for myself. To say 'NO" to be victimized. I found the strength through faith and from deep within. I realized that yes there was help out there and if saying no alone would of not brought it to an end I would of went and seeked help. But in reality to not be a victim any longer I had to find the strength to stand up for myself.
   No, truly can be the hardest word one ever says.But it can also be the strongest weapon As a parent I don't want to be constantly saying no. But t needs to be said at times. Sometimes mom and dad know better than the child what is best for them. They may not want to hear mom and dad say no. But mom and dad know it is the better choice.
   In life there will be many times one will be in a situation to choose the bad choice or the good choice so many times people choose the quickest easiest way out. But in truth sometimes the hardest choice winds up be the better choice. In the long run it even makes things easier. So it is okay to say no to the bad choices.
  It's not always easy to say "no, I won't allow you to hurt me". But in the end once you have it can give you strength and power that you never thought you could or would have.
  We all have the right to say no when ever we want to. No one has the right to pressure us into anything. No one can if we stand up and say "NO", No More", So if you are being hurt by another take a stand. In reality no one else can do it for you. No one else can make all your problems of being abused go away until you take a stand. Yes they can make the abuse stop. But I have learned that part of the healing process is finding the courage to say no.